NSANE; A MAD MAN WRITES.
We “Dirty and disgusting” mad men in Ghana are wiser than those of you claiming sanity. Do you remember when the leadership of the Ashanti kingdom announced the curfew in Kumasi during his mother’s funeral? Funny enough, there were no madmen on the streets within those hours. We don’t have a radio, we don’t have a television, we don’t have facebook, Whatsapp, twitter, etc. How did we even know about it if we don’t understand what you say. We also fear death, only God knows if we are really “insane” as you perceive us to be.
Yes, only God knows if we are really insane. My brain cells are hitting each other now so I can’t define “insane”. Give me a pencil and paper and maybe I can draw ‘insane’ for you.
Just as everyone else, I wake up to a new day each morning. I might have a fixed routine of a lifestyle, but I do get bridges and new exciting stuff because the sane people can be very insane too. Unlike you ‘sane’ people, we the insane are unique in our own ways. Some of us walk around with a bowl for food, an indication for you to realize that we have a little wire still connected somewhere that lets us know that we eat food in a bowl. Some of us walk towards food anytime we see it. Do not misunderstand our appetite for hunger, we love the taste of variety. I am sure you have seen those brothers of mine who walk around holding their trousers up. I am telling you this day that these brothers still have a modicum of shyness within that makes them not to leave their nudity for public viewing; unlike some of you! But what of those who walk naked, you ask? I call them the experienced ones. They do not care what you think about them; because they know YOU DON’T CARE. For them, even we the insane, sometimes call them ‘insane’. All the wires are disconnected in their brain circuits. Let us not forget my type. We live in the community with you, dress like you, eat what you eat, yet you still call us insane just because we sometimes lose control over our actions. Because for no fault of ours, our brains keep switching modes from sane to insane and vice versa. Why don’t you call us sane then, but rather conveniently choose to dump us with the insane? It is a fifty-fifty situation. We are sometimes sane, sometimes insane. Yet you choose to include us in the category of the insane. Hmm.
Why do you ignore our presence? Our minds might not be stable, but we can see, we can hear, some things disgust us, and some types of people annoy us. You run away from us when show a little bit of anger after you have irritated us. Why do you do all the sorts of things you do to us, ignoring how we feel about it? Remember we are not numb, we have the ability to feel physical and emotional pain. We just happen to have an unstable mind.
The police beat us, civilians beat us, yet we are not criminals; we just happen to have an unstable mind.
Why do you watch on and allow children to stone us? Why do you beat us when we refuse to leave an interesting scene? We want to have a glance at what is happening in our environment too. We can see, we can hear, we can feel pain, we only happen not to be able to rationalize our thoughts.
Did I run from home and never return, or was I kicked out? I can not quite remember. Where do I live and which way leads back home? I can not remember. Who do I know and which faces are supposed to be familiar? Who should I smile at, and who should I stay away from? All these, I do not know. It seems I am not allowed to have natural fears. Even if I do, who will protect me?
On Sundays I see crowds gather, on Fridays I see crowds gather, on some days I see more people and on others I see them walk in two’s and three’s, but none of these groups welcome my type. They say we will mess the place up. But the truth is that majority of us got messed up in the first place by these same ‘sane’ people.
We do not blame them entirely for our predicament because we believe in destiny and have accepted our fate. But couldn’t we at least get some little bit of attention? We are living, but perhaps death is better for us. “Mere nya wo ay3 y3 musuo”, “ebiaa na ne de3 mpo sen wode3”.(wishing to be like other could be a curse; their case might be worse, compared to yours).
The blind have advocates, the deaf have advocates, the poor and the needy have a society, and the orphans have a community, but nobody is even interested in what is wrong with us. Are we even curable? Any concern at least? Just organize some ‘feast for craziness’ for us some days, or better still a donation or foundation for us.
It seems when your brain starts twitching, the world dumps you like trash. You become an outcast and nothing is about us, but God being on our side, not even cholera attacks us amidst all the filth we live in. The world has abandoned us but the good Lord takes care of us.
Some of us can be cured and those who cannot be cured can eat good food and might enjoy good treatment. Turn an empathetic eye towards us, a life might be saved. A family might smile once again and the world might regain a lost hero.
Since I am currently in the ‘insane’ mode and you may not make sense of what I’m saying, I tell you these things through.
Nuhu Alimatu Sadia,